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How to do homework with your child without stress


One of the main reasons for misunderstandings between parents and their children is homework. Arguments, stress, and even tears are what both older and younger generations can face. Bribes, threats, and punishments, of course, are not the way out of this situation. In today’s article, we will figure out how to do homework with your child without stress.

Organizational moments

Before giving advice on how to do homework without stress, let’s clarify what norms parents should establish for their child to do homework. Homework is also work, and it should have a start and end time. Placing a clock on the desk will help the child keep track of time.

To do homework without stress, start with something simple and then move on to more complex tasks. At the same time, it is recommended to leave the easiest task for last. Such a method of doing homework is explained from a physiological point of view. Children tend to reach their maximum productivity after 30 minutes of starting their activity. After an hour and a half, thinking processes are not as active, so it will be difficult for a child to complete a task that they do not understand.

You should adapt the time for homework according to your child’s age in the following way:

  • For preschoolers: 15 minutes;
  • For children aged 6 to 8: 30 to 40 minutes;
  • For children aged 8 to 10: one hour;
  • For teenagers: 2 to 3 hours.

Sometimes the amount of homework does not allow the child to fit within these time frames. Therefore, it is necessary to control the child’s breaks for 10-15 minutes between different activities or if they are “stuck” on a specific task.

What mistakes do parents make?

Interestingly enough, failures in completing homework depend not only on the children, but also on the parents. Let’s explain the three most common mistakes that adults make:

  • Lack of conditions for doing homework. Create a fixed place for your child where they can concentrate their attention. The perfect place is their own study corner with all the necessary supplies. There should be no TV, toys, or other distracting items.
  • Upset about assigned homework for the child. If you see that the exercises are too difficult for your child, you should go to school and personally inform the teacher about it.
  • Total control of the situation. In order for lessons to be done without tears, there is no need to stand over your child’s head while they complete each task. Give them the opportunity to independently understand the topic, even if not as quickly as you would like. You can selectively ask your child a few questions after they have studied the material. If you realize that the child has not sufficiently learned the topic assigned for study, then you can intervene in the learning process.

Next, let’s go over the main principles of how to do homework effectively.

Break down tasks into smaller blocks

Preparing for a presentation, exam or essay requires serious, thoughtful, and step-by-step work. You may have already encountered your child’s protests and despair after being given such tasks. To avoid arguments during lessons, help your child break down the large homework into smaller parts. Such a distribution of the workload will relieve the student of fear when completing the task.

Help, but don’t do it for the child

Every parent wants to help their child. But let’s be honest, if a child knows that a difficult task can be done by mom or dad, the habit of shifting responsibility onto someone else will accompany the child throughout life.

Of course, no one is saying to refuse help. Guide them to the right solution, read the textbook together, watch videos, show them how to solve similar problems.

It is very important to establish clear boundaries in advance so that lessons can be done without protests: homework is the responsibility of the child, not the adult. The student should learn to manage their time and take responsibility for their actions.

Create conditions for motivation

Many parents, in order to do homework without nerves, find nothing else but to introduce a system of material rewards. However, this can have the opposite effect, as the child is willing to work for money or a gift, not for self-improvement. Here, psychologists offer a good alternative in the form of external motivation, which in the end will be absorbed by the child. “Children respond very well to social reinforcement, such as praise, hugs, high-fives, and the like,” says Laura Phillips, a neuropsychologist from the Institute of Child Mind.

Search for additional sources

There is nothing shameful about not knowing how to help your child. This does not mean that you should immediately look for the answer in a textbook. Use specialized services, internet resources, and literature. Fortunately, in our era, there are many sources to find answers to questions of interest. And most importantly, be honest with your child. Studying the material found together will allow for lessons without yelling, and new information will become an interesting topic for discussion.

Support your little one

Don’t forget that a child, especially a teenager, may feel nervous due to hormonal changes. Remember that your little one is an individual, and everyone absorbs information at different speeds, depending on their nervous system type. To help your child do homework without getting stressed, remind them of your love and support them in all their endeavors.

We hope that our tips on how to enjoy doing homework will be helpful to you. Also, remember that homework is hard work, and sometimes even adults can’t cope with it without additional sources. Be patient, kind, and love your child, no matter how difficult it may be for both of you!

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